Quick and Dirty: Predictions

Today is a day than many of us have been looking forward to for a while—the new iPhone is going to be announced today. What will it look like? What will it be? Everyone’s waiting with baited breath to find out. Here are some off-the-cuff predictions on what I think we’ll see.

iPhone:

  • We’ll see two iPhone sizes: 4.7 and 5.5.
  • the iPhone 5C model will remain the same and drop in price
  • the 4S, as the last 30-pin device that Apple sells, will finally be gone.
  • The naming scheme will change. I don’t think we’ll keep seeing “#” and “#S” revisions; each size will get its own name, a la the iPad. I think we’ll see an iPhone C on the low end, the iPhone S [for standard], and maybe an iPhone P for Pro or something. Maybe not, but a new naming convention I think is in order.
  • They’ll have gorgeous sapphire screens that will blow Gorilla Glass out of the water (pun intended).
  • A8 chip is at least 1.5x faster than the A7, and will allow for some great iOS 8-only features
  • We’ll FINALLY get a 138 GB iPhone, but the new high-end model may start at 16 GB just so that they can still hit an entrance point of $199

iPad

  • It’s not the iPad’s event. We’ll see that next month, along with some new Macs

iPod

  • We may get some updates here, but they may not be mentioned in the keynote.
  • The iPod touch will have its processor bumped up. It’ll also FINALLY
  • The nano may get some hardware bump so that it can work with health kit.

Apple TV

  • I think we’ll see and Apple TV SDK released, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t either. Right now, it’s a nice curated experience, and some of Apple’s content deals may not allow them to have an SDK, as it would be easy to make apps that allow showing pirated content potentially easier (even if there are already 100 ways to do that without adding the Apple TV to the list).
  • A controller for the Apple TV? Haaa, just kidding. But maybe we’ll see Ninten Apple say “make a controller like this”.
  • The physical device will have about the same dimensions, but internally it’ll get the A7 at least.

“iWatch”

  • As much pomp and circumstance as is going into this event, it’s clear a new product is being announced, and the iWatch is that new product. I don’t think iWatch will be its name, but since everyone else is already sold on it, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did it just to make things easier. I think it’ll be more of a dial or band that will allow for various straps to put on. I also think it will be gorgeous and be low-power. I’m thinking of around a $150–$200 watch that runs on the M7 and tracks health data like steps, heartbeat, etc. and works with HealthKit.
  • Ive himself will come on stage and announce it.
  • Haha, just kidding. But he will be in an awesome video that shows after everyone craps their pants over it.
  • It won’t be out until February/March of next year (which is unfortunate, because I wanted it as a 21st Birthday present).

iOS 8

  • It launches next Friday, and it will be the best-reviewed version of iOS so far. It will finally allow for the type of interactions we’ve always wanted in iOS. I’m personally super pumped, as the TouchID authentications will be spectacular.
  • Siri will get some new languages, but I don’t know what else she could do at this point. It’ll be interesting to look at, because right now Cortana and Google Voice both have it on her.

The importance of this keynote cannot be understated. This is a “Stevenote”, “iPad Annoucement”, “iPhone 4 [minus spoilers]”—level presentation. Just as the iPhone 4 has really defined the look and feel of the last 4 iPhones, I think that what’s announced today will be the next pivot in the iPhone’s lifestyle. This keynote will also define Tim Cook’s era as CEO at Apple. It goes well, and he finally gets the monkey off of his back [not that there should be, but people are stupid]. However, if it fails [which it won’t], then it would be a disaster, only because it’s Apple and people think that Jesus himself sits on the Board of Directors.

They’ll also have one thing that will blow everyone’s minds. One feature in the new iPhones, one thing about the “iWatch”, I don’t know. But it’s going to say to everyone “We’re still Apple. We still run this shit show.” And most of all, I will surely be up in arms over what to spend all of my money on.

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